It is with a heavy heart that I undertake to write this. I have been telling people for the last several days--bluntly--perhaps so that they are as afraid as I am. I try to convince myself of the facts.
This is not so bad.
It could be so much worse.
We can cope with this.
We can fight it tooth and nail.
Beneath my bravest face lies an untamed maelstrom of terror, in depth and breadth like an angry sea. I'm not brave. I'm wrapped in cotton wool. Shocked. Alone. When reality pounds away the protective coating... what will I do then? I'm frightened my friends. Those black waters are wide and deep and I am so small.
What throws me onto this dark shore--me--who eats editors and newbie writers for lunch? A nightmare. I can't wake up. Every morning, it hits me again, rolling over me like a tsunami. I can't wake up. I can't even drown. I move through the motions of life... working, telling people, giving a birthday party for my middlest.
On Thursday, my precious baby tested positive for muscular dystrophy. It's not the worst kind, which would doom her to an early death. It's some other kind... maybe even a virus which will get completely better. The numbers are not so bad. But her decline has been heartbreaking, inching slowly for her, but quick for me, who now knows that I saw the signs and didn't know what they meant.
She is 3.
She struggles up the stairs, hanging by both hands from the rickety banister. Or she goes up on her bum, or on all fours... like a baby half her age. From a seated position on the floor, she climbs to her feet, pushing with her hands, walking them toward her body until she can lift her torso, and come wobbling to her feet. If you so much as brush by her, she falls. If you make her walk too far, she crumples to her knees, bonelessly, loose-limbed. If she tries to step up from the street onto a curb without a helping hand, she dissolves into a puddle her arms reaching toward me to pick her up. She's so heavy now... too heavy because I am weak. And I want to scream and scream, keening for my bright, beautiful "big girl." She becomes a baby by inches while I watch.
It seems like it's only been a couple months... but I realize writing this, that is not true. Her balance has been bad for half a year at least. She has been fatigued and grouchy for months. That was never like her. I thought she was just "being 2" very late, finally coming into it when she was nearly 3. She had always been such a delight, too good to be true. She was entitled to some twoness, wasn't she?
Now she says, "Mommy! I climbed the stairs all by myself!" Like she did when she learned to poop in the potty. Like it's an achievement. I can't watch her struggling up those stairs, because reaching the top is an achievement. I can't watch. I have to hold myself from leaping after her, catching her off-balanced little body, carrying her up. She is so heavy.
At the playland, a little girl knocked her over. I flew to her, seeing myself as over-protective for the first time ever. The children were running races, back and forth past her. It took every ounce of my will to let them run. No. Stop! You might hurt her! Come to Mommy. Don't run. Don't waddle. Don't make me see what is happening to you. And I wanted to cry right there in McDonalds.
I didn't.
I can't.
I am afraid for the future, my friends. I am afraid of what will happen when I am able to feel again. She still seems so healthy... but I can't watch her climb the stairs, or not run, or stand up from the floor. I'm in agony. I try to stay calm, keep my mind on the facts, but beneath what I know is what I feel...
There but for the grace of God go I.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Friday, February 04, 2005
Figure Skating Fiction Gets Submitted
PMA pitched On the Edge and Desperate Times to seven publishing houses/imprints. Every house they pitched to wanted to see the books!
Here's the list:
Penguin (Razorbill)
Warner
Simon and Schuster
Random House (Knopf Books for Young Readers)
Bloomsbury
Harper Childrens
Hyperion
I was thinking that OTE would be right up Razorbill's alley... but Penguin's financials are looking kind of dicey. Se we'll see. I'm praying that more than one publisher wants the book. If that happens, we go to auction... and auction means $$$,$$$.
Anyway, the excitement has been killing me for officially a month tomorrow. For agented books 6-8 weeks is a reasonable turn around. I still have a month to wait.
Here's the list:
Penguin (Razorbill)
Warner
Simon and Schuster
Random House (Knopf Books for Young Readers)
Bloomsbury
Harper Childrens
Hyperion
I was thinking that OTE would be right up Razorbill's alley... but Penguin's financials are looking kind of dicey. Se we'll see. I'm praying that more than one publisher wants the book. If that happens, we go to auction... and auction means $$$,$$$.
Anyway, the excitement has been killing me for officially a month tomorrow. For agented books 6-8 weeks is a reasonable turn around. I still have a month to wait.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Figure Skating Fiction Does
Just a short post to let everyone know that I received the executed contract from the agency. Guess they didn't make a mistake. It's real, folks.
It really is real.
It really is real.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Figure Skating Fiction Promotion
It came to my attention this week that an author of my acquaintance, who writes romance novels and figure skating mysteries for Big 6 publishers was coming under attack for translating and posting foreign language figure skating articles on her web site. "She's only doing it to promote her books!" They said.
Good friend and fellow skatefic author Jennifer Lyon (The Strong and the Sequined) opined that it might be because said author was not an active participant in the communities she frequented. I can see how it might look like that, but having hung out online a long time myself, I know it's not true. This particular author was already on rec.sport.skating.ice.figure when I arrived in 1997 posting under her real name (as opposed to the pseudonym she writes under). She actively participates on the SkateFic mailing list (no relation to my web site SkateFic.com) and is very generous with her time and experience. She also posts to SkateFans now and again.
But aside from the fact that this person is indeed a long-standing member of the online figure skating fan community, I want to share a bit about the realities of promoting books. There is an old adage in publishing that says that advertising does not sell books. The upshot of this is that a mid-list author—which is basically everyone except Stephen King and John Grisham—might as well expect no further support than a box full of review copies and maybe a press release from the publisher. Anything that gets done is done by the author.
And there lies the rub.
Fiction doesn't pay enough to hire a big time publicist. I, myself, am planning to spend pretty much the sum total of my expected advance for On the Edge (maybe $5K if I'm lucky) on a publicist and some advertising. Reaching what readers there are left is difficult, expensive, and time consuming. Reaching readers in appropriate affinity groups—people who would in read your book because they have associated interests, like figure skating fans are for this author—is key to any author's strategy.
I am somewhat fortunate that I managed to keep Skatefic.com going all these years (our 7th anniversary is this coming February). I have what is called in the business "platform"—that is a venue from which to promote my books. I have divined some sour reactions when I talk about my site on various online forums. Yet discrete promotion is about all I've got. The author we're discussing didn't even have that.
So she created it. She is a native speaker of a foreign language so she scours the online sources in that language for figure skating articles and then translates them. She uses those article to draw people to her site where she promotes her figure skating mysteries. In the book business, this is sheer brilliance. I knew what she was doing the moment I got to her site and I thought, "MORE POWER TO YA, GIRL!" The public gets free articles that they would not otherwise be able to read. She gets attention from an important affinity group. And BTW, it's not like she is stealing or lifting anything illegally; the translations are hers to do with as she likes.
It's all good!
So if it is now entering your mind that the large purpose of this blog is to promote my web site, and my fiction and increase my Google rank... say it ain't so! You mean people really do try to promote their own interests? Wow. Never. The next time someone whines about getting free translations of figure skating articles or seven years of free figure skating fiction, they might think seriously about how it is that us authors pay the daycare and the electricity. It's by selling books, mainly to people who might be interested in buying them... ie figure skating fans. "She's only doing it to promote her books!"
WELL DUH!
Good friend and fellow skatefic author Jennifer Lyon (The Strong and the Sequined) opined that it might be because said author was not an active participant in the communities she frequented. I can see how it might look like that, but having hung out online a long time myself, I know it's not true. This particular author was already on rec.sport.skating.ice.figure when I arrived in 1997 posting under her real name (as opposed to the pseudonym she writes under). She actively participates on the SkateFic mailing list (no relation to my web site SkateFic.com) and is very generous with her time and experience. She also posts to SkateFans now and again.
But aside from the fact that this person is indeed a long-standing member of the online figure skating fan community, I want to share a bit about the realities of promoting books. There is an old adage in publishing that says that advertising does not sell books. The upshot of this is that a mid-list author—which is basically everyone except Stephen King and John Grisham—might as well expect no further support than a box full of review copies and maybe a press release from the publisher. Anything that gets done is done by the author.
And there lies the rub.
Fiction doesn't pay enough to hire a big time publicist. I, myself, am planning to spend pretty much the sum total of my expected advance for On the Edge (maybe $5K if I'm lucky) on a publicist and some advertising. Reaching what readers there are left is difficult, expensive, and time consuming. Reaching readers in appropriate affinity groups—people who would in read your book because they have associated interests, like figure skating fans are for this author—is key to any author's strategy.
I am somewhat fortunate that I managed to keep Skatefic.com going all these years (our 7th anniversary is this coming February). I have what is called in the business "platform"—that is a venue from which to promote my books. I have divined some sour reactions when I talk about my site on various online forums. Yet discrete promotion is about all I've got. The author we're discussing didn't even have that.
So she created it. She is a native speaker of a foreign language so she scours the online sources in that language for figure skating articles and then translates them. She uses those article to draw people to her site where she promotes her figure skating mysteries. In the book business, this is sheer brilliance. I knew what she was doing the moment I got to her site and I thought, "MORE POWER TO YA, GIRL!" The public gets free articles that they would not otherwise be able to read. She gets attention from an important affinity group. And BTW, it's not like she is stealing or lifting anything illegally; the translations are hers to do with as she likes.
It's all good!
So if it is now entering your mind that the large purpose of this blog is to promote my web site, and my fiction and increase my Google rank... say it ain't so! You mean people really do try to promote their own interests? Wow. Never. The next time someone whines about getting free translations of figure skating articles or seven years of free figure skating fiction, they might think seriously about how it is that us authors pay the daycare and the electricity. It's by selling books, mainly to people who might be interested in buying them... ie figure skating fans. "She's only doing it to promote her books!"
WELL DUH!
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Figure Skating Fiction Will Never Sell
Never say never!
Last week, out of the blue, after four years of searching, sending 125 queries and having well over 60 literary agents read at least a partial of my figure skating novel, I was signed to an agency contract by Peter Miller at PMA Literary and Film. Miller is the big time. He's one of the top agents in New York City.
Needless to say, it took me days to recover my composure, I was so shocked. My first reaction was... nothing. Miller asked how I felt about them representing me and I couldn't think of anything to say except that I had given up hope of ever finding an agent and didn't feel anything, but I was sure that I would be very happy when I was capable of feeling anything at all ... who knew that the emotional reaction to a dream coming true was numbness?
After I stopped feeling numb—it took a couple days—I was overcome with a terrible fear that I was going to wake up—that it was a joke, a mistake, that any moment the agency would call and say they were wrong, that I wasn't the author they meant to tap after all. At the same time, there was this curious sense of relief. As an author, I had come within a hair's breath of giving up. I really had. I had come to terms with the idea that even a great book does not guarantee that the big time agent and Big New York Publisher contract will happen... I could go through life without an agent, and a deal. I could hand down a few POD copies of my book to my grandchildren and be proud of it because how many people write a book, much less a series? Ya gotta write for yourself.
The next emotion I was remotely aware of was this growing sense of anxiety and panic. You see, the agents offered to sign me based on the strength of a partial manuscript. They had never read the entire book! To say the least, this is unusual. To say the most, I've never heard of it happening to anyone.
It took me the better part of five days to get the manuscripts out. That was Friday of last week. I am still on pins and needles. Until I get an executed contract back from the agent, I have to live with this deep seated unease that he can change his mind. In some ways, I'm bearing up. In others, I'm not. Of course, the truth is, he could change his mind anyway, regardless if they sign or not. The contract has a 90 day out.
At any rate, I dreamed an impossible dream. It came true! Could there be a better Christmas present? So today, I went to the bookstore, walked among the stacks... and dreamed.
Last week, out of the blue, after four years of searching, sending 125 queries and having well over 60 literary agents read at least a partial of my figure skating novel, I was signed to an agency contract by Peter Miller at PMA Literary and Film. Miller is the big time. He's one of the top agents in New York City.
Needless to say, it took me days to recover my composure, I was so shocked. My first reaction was... nothing. Miller asked how I felt about them representing me and I couldn't think of anything to say except that I had given up hope of ever finding an agent and didn't feel anything, but I was sure that I would be very happy when I was capable of feeling anything at all ... who knew that the emotional reaction to a dream coming true was numbness?
After I stopped feeling numb—it took a couple days—I was overcome with a terrible fear that I was going to wake up—that it was a joke, a mistake, that any moment the agency would call and say they were wrong, that I wasn't the author they meant to tap after all. At the same time, there was this curious sense of relief. As an author, I had come within a hair's breath of giving up. I really had. I had come to terms with the idea that even a great book does not guarantee that the big time agent and Big New York Publisher contract will happen... I could go through life without an agent, and a deal. I could hand down a few POD copies of my book to my grandchildren and be proud of it because how many people write a book, much less a series? Ya gotta write for yourself.
The next emotion I was remotely aware of was this growing sense of anxiety and panic. You see, the agents offered to sign me based on the strength of a partial manuscript. They had never read the entire book! To say the least, this is unusual. To say the most, I've never heard of it happening to anyone.
It took me the better part of five days to get the manuscripts out. That was Friday of last week. I am still on pins and needles. Until I get an executed contract back from the agent, I have to live with this deep seated unease that he can change his mind. In some ways, I'm bearing up. In others, I'm not. Of course, the truth is, he could change his mind anyway, regardless if they sign or not. The contract has a 90 day out.
At any rate, I dreamed an impossible dream. It came true! Could there be a better Christmas present? So today, I went to the bookstore, walked among the stacks... and dreamed.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Figure Skating in Stolen Moments
For the last few weeks, I've been too busy. School started for my three kids. Tuition payments came due. My spouse boarded a big, gray, high-tech, tin can and floated off to points unknown. They're still not really sure where they are going. Okay, let's have a pity party for dej, one, two, three, AWWWWWW. I had my pity party the day he left. Hopefully, I won't get too maudlin during the deployment. Having been married "to the Navy" for 10 years, I should be used to this by now, right? I've reached apathy in record time.
At any rate, I've been working my fat behind off... would that there was actually less of it! I still have deadlines coming out my ears. I've been doing a fair amount of design work, a good excuse to upgrade Adobe InDesign soon... and the I'll need a faster computer to run it on. Oh wait, let's step back from the pipe dreams, shall we? I suspect you're all wondering what in God's Green Earth this has to do with skating. Well, two things.
First thing, before summer, I dropped $600 on a new pair of custom Klingbeil figure skating boots. I have these horrible, wonky feet that have problems from the tips of my toes to the middle of my back. I had two surgeries when I was a teen to correct the deformities. That's what effectively ended my skating career... my feet never quite flexed the same way again. The upshot being that I can't even put my feet in stock boots.
Anyway, I got these figure skating boots, and it is now October and I have yet to be able to spare the $100 to get them mounted onto the skate blades I have on my old boots. So they sit. It's beginning to chafe me that they are just sitting after I paid so much for them. And then of course, there is the fact that my darling middlest daughter is home mornings now, so I get very little work done. I can't really condone spending my work hours at the skating rink. I must figure this out.
Second thing, I am chugging away at Fall from Grace. For those of you who read my figure skating serial On the Edge, this is one of the future books in the series based on that serial. It's kind of complex WHICH book it is, so let me digress a second. For people who bought the ebook, this is the second sequel to that book, Book 3. But after I pulled the ebook On the Edge from the market, I chopped it into pieces, hoping that a shorter length would make it more attractive to agents (nibbles but can't set the hook). First, I chopped it in two: On the Edge and Desperate Times. But Desperate Times was still too long.
So then I cut it in three: On the Edge, Desperate Times, and Unlucky in Love. Unlucky in Love needs a bit more work because it's on the short side, only 45K words. Following that is Unison and Counterpoint, which took 6 months to start and 2 months to finish--separated by three years of misery and writer's block. Book 5, which I am not nearly finished with, is Fall from Grace. For those who know me best, Unison and Counterpoint used to have the working title Fall from grace, but then I changed it. Fall from Grace really fits this book, though it is not as vicious as this section of the serial was. Jen Bigley (of Designs of Greatness) once described it as "Okay, let's see how much Elayne and Alexi can hurt each other."
Now, if everyone's not totally confused, I'll continue. I finally finished chapter 7 (of 8) of Fall from Grace (or FFG as I often call it). For fans of the serial, the last section of FFG ch7 is the scene based on (and largely lifted from) A Seat at Finlandia. Except that it no longer takes place in Helsinki, conveniently rearranging the embarrassment of sending Elayne and Alexi to a competition that doesn't even have pairs. Since the books are significantly different from the serial, the fight is about something totally different, the uh... figure skating is still about the same--hot enough to melt the ice. So, I started rewriting it, because the fight scene just didn't have enough venom. And I got stuck. Stuck stuck STUCK! I wasn't blocked, I just didn't know what to have Elayne say next. What the heck do you say when the man you love accuses you of trading your ex-boyfriend sexual favors for figure skating lessons? So anyway, today, I figured it out. I'll probably rewrite it twice or three times more before I am through.
So what does this have to do with stolen moments? I guess just that I've had to steal the moments I get to work on the novel. But finish it, I will. Not sure what I will DO with it when I finish it. But I will finish it. On the Edge (the short one) has been with various agents for over six months now. That's called rejection by ignorance. If they ignore it long enough, maybe I'll go away. So, there are two ways I can go. I can self-publish the book, assuming I can come up with a couple hundred bucks... or I can start querying publishers. Six of the seven big YA publishers still take unagented books... but the turn around is measured in years. I am not sure that I want to leave the whole series sitting for that long.
And then, of course, there is the problem with Kadie's Choice. KC is the book I sold to Scobre Press... which offered me an appallingly terrible contract which I am trying to negotiate into something I can live with. Eventually, I hope it will get settled. I have a reason to see it get settled, you see, if KC sells like their books tend to sell, I will be able to write my own ticket in NY, pretty much. I could probably walk into any decent agency and say "This is Kadie's Choice. It sold 40K copies. This is On the Edge. I'd like you to represent me." It's so much easier to get agents to display enthusiasm about your unpublished manuscript when you have a blockbuster (40K for a YA is a blockbuster) under your belt. So potentially, if I hung OTE in the closet for another couple years, I might be able to sell it into the big time.
Wait. Don't wait. Wait. Don't wait.
As Alexi says at the end of FFG ch7, "I don't know."
At any rate, I've been working my fat behind off... would that there was actually less of it! I still have deadlines coming out my ears. I've been doing a fair amount of design work, a good excuse to upgrade Adobe InDesign soon... and the I'll need a faster computer to run it on. Oh wait, let's step back from the pipe dreams, shall we? I suspect you're all wondering what in God's Green Earth this has to do with skating. Well, two things.
First thing, before summer, I dropped $600 on a new pair of custom Klingbeil figure skating boots. I have these horrible, wonky feet that have problems from the tips of my toes to the middle of my back. I had two surgeries when I was a teen to correct the deformities. That's what effectively ended my skating career... my feet never quite flexed the same way again. The upshot being that I can't even put my feet in stock boots.
Anyway, I got these figure skating boots, and it is now October and I have yet to be able to spare the $100 to get them mounted onto the skate blades I have on my old boots. So they sit. It's beginning to chafe me that they are just sitting after I paid so much for them. And then of course, there is the fact that my darling middlest daughter is home mornings now, so I get very little work done. I can't really condone spending my work hours at the skating rink. I must figure this out.
Second thing, I am chugging away at Fall from Grace. For those of you who read my figure skating serial On the Edge, this is one of the future books in the series based on that serial. It's kind of complex WHICH book it is, so let me digress a second. For people who bought the ebook, this is the second sequel to that book, Book 3. But after I pulled the ebook On the Edge from the market, I chopped it into pieces, hoping that a shorter length would make it more attractive to agents (nibbles but can't set the hook). First, I chopped it in two: On the Edge and Desperate Times. But Desperate Times was still too long.
So then I cut it in three: On the Edge, Desperate Times, and Unlucky in Love. Unlucky in Love needs a bit more work because it's on the short side, only 45K words. Following that is Unison and Counterpoint, which took 6 months to start and 2 months to finish--separated by three years of misery and writer's block. Book 5, which I am not nearly finished with, is Fall from Grace. For those who know me best, Unison and Counterpoint used to have the working title Fall from grace, but then I changed it. Fall from Grace really fits this book, though it is not as vicious as this section of the serial was. Jen Bigley (of Designs of Greatness) once described it as "Okay, let's see how much Elayne and Alexi can hurt each other."
Now, if everyone's not totally confused, I'll continue. I finally finished chapter 7 (of 8) of Fall from Grace (or FFG as I often call it). For fans of the serial, the last section of FFG ch7 is the scene based on (and largely lifted from) A Seat at Finlandia. Except that it no longer takes place in Helsinki, conveniently rearranging the embarrassment of sending Elayne and Alexi to a competition that doesn't even have pairs. Since the books are significantly different from the serial, the fight is about something totally different, the uh... figure skating is still about the same--hot enough to melt the ice. So, I started rewriting it, because the fight scene just didn't have enough venom. And I got stuck. Stuck stuck STUCK! I wasn't blocked, I just didn't know what to have Elayne say next. What the heck do you say when the man you love accuses you of trading your ex-boyfriend sexual favors for figure skating lessons? So anyway, today, I figured it out. I'll probably rewrite it twice or three times more before I am through.
So what does this have to do with stolen moments? I guess just that I've had to steal the moments I get to work on the novel. But finish it, I will. Not sure what I will DO with it when I finish it. But I will finish it. On the Edge (the short one) has been with various agents for over six months now. That's called rejection by ignorance. If they ignore it long enough, maybe I'll go away. So, there are two ways I can go. I can self-publish the book, assuming I can come up with a couple hundred bucks... or I can start querying publishers. Six of the seven big YA publishers still take unagented books... but the turn around is measured in years. I am not sure that I want to leave the whole series sitting for that long.
And then, of course, there is the problem with Kadie's Choice. KC is the book I sold to Scobre Press... which offered me an appallingly terrible contract which I am trying to negotiate into something I can live with. Eventually, I hope it will get settled. I have a reason to see it get settled, you see, if KC sells like their books tend to sell, I will be able to write my own ticket in NY, pretty much. I could probably walk into any decent agency and say "This is Kadie's Choice. It sold 40K copies. This is On the Edge. I'd like you to represent me." It's so much easier to get agents to display enthusiasm about your unpublished manuscript when you have a blockbuster (40K for a YA is a blockbuster) under your belt. So potentially, if I hung OTE in the closet for another couple years, I might be able to sell it into the big time.
Wait. Don't wait. Wait. Don't wait.
As Alexi says at the end of FFG ch7, "I don't know."
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Figure Skating Blog Welcome
For reasons beyond my ken, I have joined the blogging revolution... or perhaps that's evolution. I've always maintained that I don't read blogs and would never write one. Despite being a professional writer and journalist, I haven't the faintest idea what to write about figure skating.
It's even more ironic since over the last seven years, I've written literal volumes on all things figure skating. I've hung with the RSSIF regulars and written about figure skating. I'm active on SkateFans where I discuss a lot of stuff on figure skating--and make smartass (or dumbass) remarks (depending on your POV). I'm even on the SkateFAIR PR and Policy Committee, though I'm not sure that I'm accomplishing anything. I am a control freak among much more forceful and competent control freaks.
Anyway, the purpose of this figure skating blog is still unclear to me. I'm a very private person, so the likelihood of me spewing almost anything that might be sensitive about myself is nearly nil. But then, I do get the urge to rant about this or that occasionally. Sometimes, I like to reminisce. I am hoping—though I make no promises—that maybe I will start actually skating again. I have a pair of very expensive custom boots (bad feet) reposing in a box in my office, waiting for me to have the small amount of money needed to mount them.
It comes down to money. I'll be honest about that. Some people who see this might wonder how I can represent myself as a happenin' journalist and still be so broke all the time. The truth of the matter is, I make "eh" money freelancing. Freelancers in general, especially ones whose "full time" keeps getting eaten into by motherhood and military-spousehood, don't make a whole lot of moula. I have 3 kids and pretty much every penny I make goes to keeping them in private school, day care, and music lessons. There isn't much left for luxuries like ice skating... or even roller skating for that matter. We live a decent middle-class life... but I'm one of those kind of moms for whom my kids come first. If I get to skate, it's because I've snuck off from work in the middle if the day.
But still, the ice beckons.
Okay, I officially HATE Blogger now. This is the second time that it's selected something I didn't want and then when I typed over it wouldn't freaking undo!
I'm done for today. I'll tell y'all more about how I came into figure skating next week.
It's even more ironic since over the last seven years, I've written literal volumes on all things figure skating. I've hung with the RSSIF regulars and written about figure skating. I'm active on SkateFans where I discuss a lot of stuff on figure skating--and make smartass (or dumbass) remarks (depending on your POV). I'm even on the SkateFAIR PR and Policy Committee, though I'm not sure that I'm accomplishing anything. I am a control freak among much more forceful and competent control freaks.
Anyway, the purpose of this figure skating blog is still unclear to me. I'm a very private person, so the likelihood of me spewing almost anything that might be sensitive about myself is nearly nil. But then, I do get the urge to rant about this or that occasionally. Sometimes, I like to reminisce. I am hoping—though I make no promises—that maybe I will start actually skating again. I have a pair of very expensive custom boots (bad feet) reposing in a box in my office, waiting for me to have the small amount of money needed to mount them.
It comes down to money. I'll be honest about that. Some people who see this might wonder how I can represent myself as a happenin' journalist and still be so broke all the time. The truth of the matter is, I make "eh" money freelancing. Freelancers in general, especially ones whose "full time" keeps getting eaten into by motherhood and military-spousehood, don't make a whole lot of moula. I have 3 kids and pretty much every penny I make goes to keeping them in private school, day care, and music lessons. There isn't much left for luxuries like ice skating... or even roller skating for that matter. We live a decent middle-class life... but I'm one of those kind of moms for whom my kids come first. If I get to skate, it's because I've snuck off from work in the middle if the day.
But still, the ice beckons.
Okay, I officially HATE Blogger now. This is the second time that it's selected something I didn't want and then when I typed over it wouldn't freaking undo!
I'm done for today. I'll tell y'all more about how I came into figure skating next week.
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