Figure Skating Fiction Will Never Sell

Never say never!

Last week, out of the blue, after four years of searching, sending 125 queries and having well over 60 literary agents read at least a partial of my figure skating novel, I was signed to an agency contract by Peter Miller at PMA Literary and Film. Miller is the big time. He's one of the top agents in New York City.

Needless to say, it took me days to recover my composure, I was so shocked. My first reaction was... nothing. Miller asked how I felt about them representing me and I couldn't think of anything to say except that I had given up hope of ever finding an agent and didn't feel anything, but I was sure that I would be very happy when I was capable of feeling anything at all ... who knew that the emotional reaction to a dream coming true was numbness?

After I stopped feeling numb—it took a couple days—I was overcome with a terrible fear that I was going to wake up—that it was a joke, a mistake, that any moment the agency would call and say they were wrong, that I wasn't the author they meant to tap after all. At the same time, there was this curious sense of relief. As an author, I had come within a hair's breath of giving up. I really had. I had come to terms with the idea that even a great book does not guarantee that the big time agent and Big New York Publisher contract will happen... I could go through life without an agent, and a deal. I could hand down a few POD copies of my book to my grandchildren and be proud of it because how many people write a book, much less a series? Ya gotta write for yourself.

The next emotion I was remotely aware of was this growing sense of anxiety and panic. You see, the agents offered to sign me based on the strength of a partial manuscript. They had never read the entire book! To say the least, this is unusual. To say the most, I've never heard of it happening to anyone.

It took me the better part of five days to get the manuscripts out. That was Friday of last week. I am still on pins and needles. Until I get an executed contract back from the agent, I have to live with this deep seated unease that he can change his mind. In some ways, I'm bearing up. In others, I'm not. Of course, the truth is, he could change his mind anyway, regardless if they sign or not. The contract has a 90 day out.

At any rate, I dreamed an impossible dream. It came true! Could there be a better Christmas present? So today, I went to the bookstore, walked among the stacks... and dreamed.