I got a rejection from Simon and Schuster's Atheneum that I'll file under "DAMN: faint praise." I won't name editorial names so as to protect the guilty, but here's a bit of a quote.
I was very excited to read ON THE EDGE. I did competitive roller skating when I was younger—and always wanted to transition to ice! However, I'm afraid the manuscript didn't quite work for me. The technical bits about skating (what it feels like to be jumping, spinning, etc.) were fascinating, but in the end, Elayne's voice struck both Emma and I as nice, but not particularly memorable.I think it's really interesting that this particular editor got OTE since I was a competitive roller skater too back in the dark ages. If she was of a certain age and lived in the NY/NJ area as a kid, we might have actually competed in the same division.
On the other hand, having OTE labeled as "nice" but not "memorable" leaves me puzzled. It causes all kinds of crazy thoughts because one of the very things I was told to do was make Elayne "nicer" and "more sympathetic." I don't think OTE the novel lost the edge of OTE the serial... but I suppose it's possible. Or maybe that's not what she meant after all.
I guess the best thing I can do is not read too much into what anyone—even an editor from a big time house—says. I am discovering that one big difference between the agent search process and the agent-selling-to-editors process is that in the latter, people are actually honest and try to give substantive reasons for rejection rather than just fobbing you off with a non-informative stock rejection.
It's a double edge sword. Until I got an agent to actually tell me what she really thought, I couldn't fix anything. But hearing the truth, REALLY HURT. Over all, I think I prefer real rejections to stock ones.
But I know why agents and editors use stock rejections. A while back, I found a novel on figure skating. I asked the author for a review copy and he sent me one. I don't think he really understood what I wanted it for... or at least the letter which came with it was so incoherent as to confuse ME as to what he thought I wanted it for. Anyway, on reading the first couple chapters, the book was shockingly awful: stilted dialogue, info-dumps, a maid-and-butler scene, a description in the mirror, a preposterous, if not flat-out, idiotic plot... then I got to the skating. The author didn't know an Axel from his elbow. There were so many technical mistakes on one page that I just put the book down in disbelief. The poor pile of pulp belonged in the circular file, not someone's bookshelf. The nicest thing that could be said was that it had attractive cover art.
I had two choices. Either I could review it and take a chance on the bits burning right through my web server's hard drive. Or I could decline to review it and write the author a short stock note. Except I have this thing about not writing stock notes. So, I wrote as carefully worded as possible a rejection as I could muster. Diplomatic I am not, but I tried. I told him that the book did not meet our standards and I was sorry, but PI could not review it.
His reply was a stinging assessment of just how worthless PI is in the grand scheme of things. He went on and on about what a crook I was and what a doofus I was and so on and so forth that I could not find the value in his masterpiece. Finally he demanded return of his book or payment of $13 for it. First of all, books sent on review are generally not returned whether they get reviewed or not. It's a promotional expense. Second, I can get toilet paper a lot cheaper.
Now, perhaps it's true that PI is not the biggest web site in the world. We are the biggest skatefic site in the world and we have the most faithful readership of skatefic in the world... and, as I've said, you never know who someone knows.
Anyway, this experience showed me in spades exactly why agents and editors don't give you anything but stock rejections. Besides being time consuming to generate, there are always nutcases out there who will waste even more of your time and energy fussing about your rejection.
And incidentally, for his $13 book, said nutcase—I hesitate to call him an author—sent a registered letter with an envelope and another demand for the return of his book... spending about $10. He didn't, however, include return postage. My response was a nice letter saying that I'd be delighted to send his book back... on his dime. I have not heard from him since. I think I trashed the book.
It's not even worth sending to the library.
It's just over the two week mark with my daughter's genetic tests. We should know within the week if one of them came back positive. A positive result will just mean that we know for sure what's wrong. A negative result means that we have to go and do more traumatic tests: a needle biopsy or a muscle biopsy under general anesthesia.
She actually seems better than she did when we first started this. I don't know if this should make me hopeful or what. I think that one thing the reading makes really clear is that the progression of dystrophic diseases are so uneven, and so individualized that it's really impossible to say what the prognosis is. My daughter could be walking into her 50s, or she could need a power chair when she's 13. It's just so tough to tell. We don't know what will happen until it actually happens. I'm going to need more serenity than I've ever managed to muster to manage this... and i wonder where it's going to come from. My MIL sent me a neat little picture:
At any rate, I got a call from the Muscular Dystrophy Association on my business line one day. They "lock up" business people and ask them to help raise donations as their "bail." This is kind of funny, and slightly cheesy, but this year it hits really close to home. I can't think about it without tearing up. This is so very personal for me. Muscular Dystrophy isn't just some theoretical disease that some people's kids get that can't touch me. Muscular Dystrophy is in my life on a daily basis. On my donations page at the MDA is a picture of my own baby girl.
So please, help me raise my "bail" and make as generous donation as you can manage to the MDA. You can use a credit card through my MDA donations page or download the donation form and mail a check. Please do it enough before May 5th so that I can have everything ready to go when they come to take me away.
And so, figure skating had their World Championship last week. I spent hours in heaven, watching every blessed program on Italian TV's Internet news feed. RaiSport RULES. I also spent a lot of time composing blogs for SkateFAIR's newest project Countdown to the Next Figure Skating Judging Scandal. I'm tickled even more so because my posts are 4 of the 5 most read and have the most people commenting (good and bad). It's nice to know that regardless of merits, at least what I write is provocative.
So why are we harping about scandals when TV says nothing? Well, here's a clue. Apparently, sports broadcasting is SO considered "not news" that "the vendor" ie, the ISU which has spent its time protecting cheaters, supporting the incompetent and punishing whistle-blowers, gets to say what the TV announcers can and cannot say. Yes, that's right. Rumor says that the ISU gagged Terry Gannon, Peggy Fleming and Peter Carruthers. Worse yet, there are credible rumors that Dick Button wasn't even invited because of his out-spoken criticism of the ISU's short-comings. Dick Button is an American institution!
Shame on ESPN. Shame. SHAME! Bad dog. No biscuit!
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