Insurance pirates...

Okay, so this was kind of spammed to an email list I am on. It is:

1) hysterical
2) too true
3) about a critical problem here in the US.

My family is very fortunate that we have good healthcare (my husband is military and they have comprehensive healthcare), but I am often concerned about others I know who do not. Many of my friends have no insurance. My own brother had none and ended up with $20K in medical bills in the last year alone. This is something that simply HAS to change and the vested interests will not allow it. Enjoy the video, it's an amusing take on a very serious subject.

Ego Surfing in Technicolor...

So, a friend of mine, JulieAnn Henneman got a meme from someone else and didn't know what a meme was... for those who don't, it's an idea that propagates itself across the net in a viral fashion. Anyway, the meme amused me and I decided to try it. Basically, you had to look up your own name and see what kind of images popped up. Since I can't seem to contact some of the illustrators for permission, I am only going to list links where appropriate.

I started with my nickname "dejah." It came from Burroughs Princess of Mars via Heinlein's The Number of the Best--the two Dejah's are very different characters and I reference the namesake rather than the original. But most of the art out there is of the Princess of Mars (who never seemed to wear any clothes). Of the variety of really graphic ones, I like this Dejah Thoris by comic artist Frank Cho.

Interestingly, the shorter version of my nickname "dej" brought up a wealth of unusual photos. Here's what looks like an Indian Chieftain Dejazmatch Balcha Aba Nefso:



Another was a webcam of a town in Romania called Dej.

And this, the Dale Earnhardt Jr Wishbike.

Then I went looking for my real name Mary E Tyler, and among the many images of the book cover for Google Analytics, I found this odd image of a gravestone for a woman with my exact name.

Darn, JulieAnn had a lot of interesting artwork. I get weird sex pictures, motorcycles (how apropos!) and gravestones. Not even a little lamb to temper my amusement!

Survery Jones: My Political Compass

It's been a while since I have updated this blog. I've been overwhelmed this summer. For most of the month of June, I was down with kidney stones, a sprained ankle and moving. Since I got better, I have been working my behind off trying to get the city house ready to sell (JUST in time for the housing market to go completely south). But, I was reading Crooks and Liars yesterday morning (as usual) and I came upon this nifty little political test.

The idea behind it is that there are two components to conservatism. There is an economic scale defined by the extremes of Communism (communalism) vs neo-liberalism (libertarianism) and there is a social scale defined by its extremes Authoritarianism (fascism) vs Libertarianism (anarchism). Put more simply: authority vs anarchy and communism vs unrestrained free markets. For example, here's how some famous world leaders rate on the political compass:



So, I took the test (I'd really love to see my neo-con friend Heather take this test. It's interesting!). Here's where I fall:





It appears I am just to the right of Gandhi, which I do not mind. I am a bit more liberal than I though of was, perhaps because of my libertarian leanings (and libertarians normally consider themselves on the right). But on this scale libertarian socially is left while libertarian economically is right and I tend to be more libertarian socially than economically.

But what's really telling is this image from Crooks and Liars about where the candidates fall. Even the MOST liberal of the democrats are FAR more authoritarian and far more economically libertarian. They are not very darned liberal AT ALL. No wonder I am not terribly thrilled about ANY of the presidential candidates!

I should note, at times, I found the test to be a bit too black and white. There were questions where I didn't exactly agree or disagree. Where the question itself seemed unreal. Anyway, so much for my survey jones. I'll be quite pleased when skating season begins again and when I have time to follow it.
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In other news, my husband made Chief (E7). In the Navy, this is a BIG deal. They put you through a six week indoctrination that involves a lot of silly stuff, more volunteer work, and a whole lot of working late. I am presently conducting my marriage my cell phone. And after 5 years of not smoking, it took exactly five days for the indoc process to stress him out enough that he is back to killing himself.

No, I'm not very happy/

Five weeks and counting til pinning.
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I've joined a new team blog. I haven't posted yet, due to email problems but when I do, the new blog is Mama Needs a Book Contract. It's a blog about writing and parenting (or in my case, women's issues). Looking forward to seeing you there!

Editor's Choice!

I read Salon pretty often. Recently after the VT murders (which hit me really hard as you well know, I wrote a comment on an article on what English teachers ought to do about students who write disturbing stuff. Out of 122 comments, mine was chosen as one of 20 Editor's Choices. I'm tickled. Read my comment. You may need to click through a "day pass" advertisement if you don't have a Salon subscription.

New Figure Skating Feature

A while back, Blogger (which I use to manage this blog) added a labels feature. Of course, they didn't provide a way to LIST the labels for old style templates--only for the new style XML templates. That stunk.

So, being bored and grumpy tonight, I decided to write a script that would do exactly that. If you scroll down below the Skating News, previous posts and the archives in the sidebar at the right, you'll find the list of labels. They are in no particular order. Maybe someday, I'll add some sorting code. Who knows.

If you click on a particular label, you'll be taken to the page where all the posts published under that label have been aggregated. I haven't gone back and labeled every post, so there is a lot missing. Oh well. When I get time.

For now, enjoy.

Figure Skating Frozen in Time

I love YouTube. I really do. I love how you can finds all kinds of video from all kinds of time periods, from all over the world. So I am starting a little video series. From time to time, I am going to post videos of figure skaters, famous and not. Sometimes, when there's time, I'll do some commentary and other times, you'll just have to cope.

So, to kick this off, here are two very interesting videos of Dorothy Hamill. Dorothy is known for her flow, her exquisite edging, her quiet power and serenity. But this is a Dorothy of a later age. The Dorothy of 1976 was a choppy Dorothy, an athletic Dorothy, not a very graceful Dorothy--a jock. Her spins travel badly, rotate slowly, and are generally poor--except for her layback which was quite impressive and lovely. Her program was packed with footwork and action--reminded me of a CoP program in that regard--even though she never did anything more difficult than a double jump. She was dynamic--and FAST--and very enjoyable to watch. But the deep edges? The quiet flow? The serenity? M.I.A.

1976 US Nationals


Even the Dorothy of 1980 was far less of the Dorothy we have come to know, and more the jock. Her spins improved markedly, though they still travel. She still had her speed. This program is an exhibition, so it's a bit emptier, more stroking, less footwork, but all the jumps are there. There are beginnings of the smooth-as-cream stroking and the deep edges.

1980 Olympics Exhibition


Despite the jarring fall in the middle of this program, this is the Dorothy we have come to know and love. Her edges and stroking are breathtaking. She does a lovely pivot move in the program of a sort you really don't see anymore--no time for stuff like that. She had, by this time, lost many if not all of her jumps. She would later regain them. There are hints--just hints--of the athletic young girl she once was as well as the maturity of many years gone. Dorothy is a national treasure.

What a Wonderful World (1995)

Blog survey?

I find this on a blog I read called Crooks and Liars. It's a survey about how/whether/when you read blogs. Feed YOUR survey jones. Please take my blog reader survey!

The last day... and an ob figure skating

This week has been hellish, I tell ya.

My mother is visiting this week and as my MIL says, "houseguest are like fish, they stink after 3 days." No, honestly, I love my mom, but she is tiring herself out and she really seems to resent the fact that I am working my ass off from dawn to dusk. I don't know why that is. She feels put upone because she's not allowed to bother me. Okay... she's not allowed to bother me. It's a fact.

But I shouldn't get annoyed when she calls it "guard duty" when my US Navy husband has "duty." He's not guarding anything, he's just covering the night shift this week. It's inacurate. But I shouldn't nit-pick.

Truth is, I am TIRED.

I've been busting my ass for weeks. It's allergy season. I had two week long projects this week each of which would have taken the whole work week and I had to do BOTH of them. I did, but at the cost of not being able to do much else that wasn't optional. I spent 2 days at the doctor (one for me and one for Akey). I spent 3 days working. I'm beat.

The good news--if it can be called good news--is that I finished the project for the employer which is laying me off. I've spent some time prospecting and sent some resumes. I don't see much, but I guess I can keep prospecting. I sent a couple "perfect" ones, but no response so far. I find myself more drawn to regular working job that guarantee X hours per week rather than individual articles.

I made some major headway on writing chapter 9 of Google Analytics 2.0. Jerri says that Google announced that they are beginning migrating everyone to the new version. This is great, as Google Analytics 2.0 went up on Amazon already. I've started tracking it with my booktracker. It's pretty pathetic at present. It'll improve. The current edition Amazon Rank Tracker is still doing okay.

So, last but not least, I saw this video this morning and the first thing I thought--before I saw the caption--was, "boy, this looks like modern figure skating." So, here's your video this week.



Enjoy...

And yes, they are the famous Ross Sisters singing contortionists. The video is from 1944.

The F-Word

I finally saw the pain specialist about my arthritis today. The news was not particularly good. He thinks I'm having some back problems (knew that) and that the pain in my hip might be mostly due to that. I don't agree with that, because my back is not particularly bad now, but my hip is EVIL and worse when it rains--explain to me how muscle pain gets worse when it rains?

Anyway...

He agreed with me that my PCM is a bit of a dolt (not in so many words) in that she didn't know that a negative rheumatology panel doesn't really rule out related problems. When one is in flare, the tests are positive, but when one is not in flare, you can do a zillion tests, but they won't be positive. A rheumatologist--to which my PCM refused to refer me--would have known that. So that was one of the points he left me with... that I may indeed have something RH related (or Lupus, which also hides when not in flare).

But, he went on to say the f-word. No, not that one.

Fibromyalgia.

Just what I always wanted. Something painful, progressive and incurable! Ye ha! Yeah, yeah, I know, it's treatable. You can cope with it. I don't really want to, truth be told. I am still very disgruntled about being in chronic pain. I'm not frightened, rather, I am pissed. Damn it, I want to be healthy again! I am tired of being sick and fat and achy.

The doc didn't say it WAS fibro, but he tested the pain points and they DO hurt. I think the idea is to treat it with fibro medicines and see if it responds. He gave me a scrip for a Fibro med which I forget the name of. We'll check back in 6 weeks to see if it's working. I have to take the darned stuff 3x/day. Which is going to be a trick since I can't remember to EAT 3x/day. He told me to keep taking the Celebrex, but he was able to set my mind at rest about some of the safety issues I was concerned about.

I wish I was happier about this, but I'm not. It sucks.

Smooth figure skating

It's about time for an "ob skating" post. For those of you not on SkateFans, that's an obligatory mention of figure skating in an otherwise totally off topic post. And this blog has not much been about skating lately. My bad, I've been so busy that I watched Nationals in reruns and only parts of worlds.

One thing I did catch though was the fluffy Latin on Ice. At least, I saw part of it. When Rob Thomas and Santana first did Smooth, I imagined it as an ice dance. I was livid when Kristy Y. mangled it that first season. I just wanted to shake her by her skinny little shoulders--and I LIKE Kristy's skating most of the time.

It needed someone who really understood and internalized latins. Someone who could breathe Latin. I never saw Peter Tchernyshev in the main role (though he is 101 reasons to think pervy things), mainly because I felt that he never really got Latins. Smooth is a cha-cha, a very latiny latin. Porny Peter has the great, sweeping swooshes of smooths (waltz, foxtrot, quickstep etc) down cold. His technique makes my toes curl. He also had a certain eastern European rock-and-roll sensibility about him that is far more Metallica than it is Elvis. More speed metal than rockabilly. So I never saw him doing justice to Smooth. He just doesn't get Latins. But this is actually pretty good.

Okay, who am I fooling, the main highlight of this program is that Peter does it almost shirtless. And oh, BABY, is he cut. You don't even notice that he has no Latin hip motion to speak of (something that is, granted, very hard to do on ice). When you can look away from Porny Peter, you notice that Naomi actually gets the cha at least a little bit.

Anyway, this is for a reader who never saw this particular piece of on ice fluff.

What a bad week...

This has been a crazy, stressful week (on top of about 8 crazy stressful weeks just passed). My anxiety disorder is in high gear, meaning that I'm constantly on edge and restless and worried. We've put a contract on a house that could well be overwhelming, but is what we can closest afford (or COULD have afforded). I'm deep navy blue over the shootings at Va Tech. And yesterday, to top it all off, I got a call from my most major client, the one which has, for the last few months provided 25% of our income (and the only REGULAR income I, personally, have, and about 75% of my revenue), and was laid off due to plummeting profits.

I just kind of stood there, listening to my supervisor (this was an actual part time job rather than a contract) nodding and going "uh huh" at appropriate times, trying not to freak out and cry in front of him. It seems the SEC has changed rules about how the kind of research we do has to be expensed. So instead of being paid out of commissions from the trading desk, it has to be paid for up front in "hard dollars." Real money. As a result, revenues plummeted, and people were being let go. My Red Hat project, for which I was supposed to be lead, wasn't picked up. And as a relatively new hire, I was laid off. I imagine a reporter with more seniority will take my place on my existing project.

I'm still freaking out, really. It's not that I can't replace the revenue. It's that it's damned hard to replace regular, dependable revenue that requires as little energy and brain power as this job did. Yes, I can replace the income, but at the cost of 3x the work... which I really don't have the oomph to do.

And to have it happen NOW. We're buying a more expensive house. I expect costs for our internet service to double (twice as much money for far less bandwidth, sheesh!). Our mortgage will rise by 50%. It couldn't really be much worse--I shouldn't say that, it can ALWAYS be worse. Just when things begin to go well, the sky falls. We never get ahead because through absolutely no fault of my own, bad things happen. Pardon me for whinging, but WHY, OH, WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!

I don't need to be depressed and de-energized this week. I have a book project that is still behind. I still have one last project for this job which I will have lost as of April 30. I have a moving to orchestrate and the last bits of paperwork for the mortgage to do. I have kids to get from one thing to another. I have laundry--that never ends.

This sucks. It just sucks.

Close to Home...

The slaying of 32 people at Virginia Tech has been all over the news the last couple of days. I was shut up in a community center in Hampton Roads, VA (the south-east corner of the state) most of the day Monday doing taxes for the AARP's TaxAide program and did not hear anything until nearly 2 PM. My response was the same as everyone else: incomprehension at the senselessness of the violence, parallels to the Texas clock tower shootings of so long ago, a sense that somewhere in Iraq LOTS of people whose names we will never know were dying in senseless violence too. That didn't change the horror that some disturbed soul could walk calmly into a university building and start shooting.

One of the victims was Lauren McCain, age 20, of Hampton, VA. Lauren worked at a pool frequented by more than a few kids from my children's school. Lauren's father works with my husband. I never knew Lauren. We never will.

Please send your prayers and good thoughts for the comfort of Lauren's family and the repose of her soul. This one hit too close to home.

45% Certifiably Crazy

So, it's been an insane spring time. My arthritis is still bad, but I finally have a medication which controls the pain (Celebrex, ie yi yi, regarding the associated risks!). I wrote a novel and a quarter. I visited San Francisco (on business) for the first time in 8 years. I am hip deep in writing the second edition of Google Analytics (officially Google Analytics 2.0).

About 2 months ago, due to several factors, we decided to move to a nearby rural area. The location of and appalling road traffic near our present house, crime and poor services in our town, an unpleasant incident at my children's private school where the principal did something very unjust to me, and a general desire to get OUT of the city and go back to being country people--it was just too much. It took me 18 years to get OUT of the country and another 18 to get back IN! So, we've been house hunting.

We are trying to move to a MUCH more expensive area, with great public schools. Our house has doubled in value in the last 4 years to about $200K, but out there, houses of this size on the kind of land we want are $300K-$350K when they are available at all. Comparably priced houses tend to be 25% smaller than the one we currently own--which is already smaller than we need. It's been tough to find houses we can afford that have at least a little land around them. We wanted 5-10 acres, but it looked like 3-5 was more do-able. So we've downscaled some.

We found one house that needed a fair amount of work, but wasn't too old. But they took another, better offer, even though we offered full price. Then we found a second house, one locally known as "The Triangle House" because it was that all-roof chalet style. It was a charming house, on about 2.6 acres of almost virgin timber (that was was one of the things I loved) and it had a garden tub with a whirlpool which was a distinct attraction for my aching joints. But it had some problems, namely the 13 deadfall or falling trees that needed removing, and the weird set up where my office would be upstairs on the second floor and my kids would congregate downstairs in the basement with a concrete slab and 2 flights of stairs (one with a very low, slanted ceiling) between us. It just didn't seem practical. Plus, there were water infiltration problems (PUDDLES! UGH!) in the basement and no idea how hard that was going to be to fix... if it could EVER be fixed so that it really never leaked.

It was not easy telling this to my husband that since he was deeply in love with the place. I tend to spoil him, letting him have what he wants. I figured i could live with it. When the seller backed out of the contract, DH was devastated. He didn't have any of my reservations about the place. He was enthusiastic about felling and splitting all those trees (and the new toys he would get to buy to do it with). He doesn't really spend a lot of time in the house, whereas I am there quite a bit of the time there. Anyway, finally, I just blurted it out, the reasons why the house made me so uneasy. It wasn't until then that he finally seemed able to let it go. It took TWO WEEKS of stress and raging for him to let go of this house that we never really had.

To his credit, I guess, I have to remind myself that over the years, while we've bought 3 houses, he's been overseas, or otherwise occupied for every single house. I've done all the hunting, all the "oh my gosh we can't afford ANYTHING," all the moping because I've looked at everything there is and there's still nothing. He hasn't really had to cope with the heartbreak of not getting the house he really loves before, while I've learned the hard way that in house-hunting you cannot afford to fall in love. You HAVE to be able to walk away from any deal. You don't "have" a house until you sign the closing papers. It's not yours. You cannot lose something that is not yours.

Anyway, we've been looking and looking, even at houses further up in the price range, up to $350. I know this seems pathetically cheap to some of you, but that is FAR more than we can afford to support. I have been house-poor and don't want to repeat the experience. But we still weren't finding anything. We found two houses on 6 acres for $350K, thinking we could get my brother to move into the small one. But the bigger house was just TOO small. Then, we found two manufactured houses--TRAILERS--on 7 acres for $300K. But trailers... we have to sell this place in 5-6 years when DH retires from the Navy and we move on. Some people (like us) are very uneasy about buying trailers, no matter how nice. We were beginning to get really bummed out about our prospects of finding a house we could afford on "some land" in the right school district.

During the course of our travels out in the county, we came upon a likely looking house. It was for sale. It was WELL within our price range. It was big enough for us. But it was under contract pending a home inspection. So we went home, feeling blue, kept looking, kept not finding anything. And Monday, we followed up with our agent about that likely looking house. Turns out, the home inspection had come through and the buyer had backed out of the deal.

We got a copy of the home inspection and found some interesting bits. The house has only one bathroom. The plumbing is part galvanized and part copper (a BIG no-no)... and part, as the inspection report says, "There are at least three repairs made to the water supply lines of the bathroom sink and toilet area, which are made with rubber hose and automotive clamps." When DH and I stopped laughing like hyenas we read the rest of the report. The house needs pretty serious work-though some has been done--and it has a BAD case of half-ass disease. Oh, and did I mention that is ONE-HUNDRED-EIGHTY years old?

That's where the 45% certifiably insane comes in.

I grew up in an an old house. half was pre-Revolutionary and the other half, pre-Civil War. I know how much work a place like this is and what a money pit it can be. It's kind of scary, because I know what I am getting into. It needs all the plumbing pipe replaced (fortunately, there is not much of it). It needs the floors jacked and supported. It needs foundation work. It needs work in the bathroom and kitchen (if not a totally new bathroom and kitchen). It needs central heat and air. It needs dampers on the FOUR fireplaces. $50K? $100K? That is the bad news.

Yes, I am panicking.

The good news is, of course, with property values being what they are, if we do the work, we can surely get the money back out when we move. DH has friends in construction who are willing to help him with the foundation work. The house is stable and livable, and actually fairly nice on the inside. Yes, it needs a kitchen and bathroom, but we can use the ones that are there for the time being. There is room for a garden and fruit trees. There are KIDS living next door. There are outbuildings for all our junk and maybe for a few animals. There is a creek (or as we say "a crick") out back! Okay, I'm excited. I am not thoroughly cynical. I've fallen for this house.

The house has a name, Carroll Plantation (est 1820), and stories and history. And I have to say, I can't wait to ferret all this out. I am considering starting a blog about the place (as if iIneed another blog to maintain) and our remodeling/restoration efforts. If and when I do, I'll let you all know the URL. In the meantime, if you ever thought I was crazy...

Now you know.

Sport: the power to inspire

A friend of mine posted this video about Dick and Rick Hoyt. Due to lack of oxygen at birth, Rick is almost completely physically disabled—but he's still "in there" with a great sense of humor and a passion for sports. He and his father Dick compete in marathons and triathlons, with Dick pulling, pushing, and carrying Rick throughout the competition. I watched this video of them and literally sobbed. There's a triumph of the human spirit here. I wanted to share it with all of you. It's not about skating, but it says something about skating—and the transcendence and power of sport.

On the Edge the Serial Chapter 100 has been fixed

Thanks to the three people who wrote to me that On the Edge the Serial: Chapter 100 was broken. It seems like I've fixed this problem at least 23 times since I started running the site and every time I write the code over, I forget to do it right and do it wrong and then 2 years later, it requires fixing yet again. Anyway, I finally DID fix it. Future chapters should work.

Thanks much to the people who are still reading On the Edge the Serial. Someone posted a comment and asked what I planned to do with On the Edge... the answer is, "I have no freaking clue." The serial is still (or SHOULD still be) being posted at the rate of about one chapter every 10 days. Beyond that, God knows if I will ever have the money to publish the novels again. I want them in print and that costs. I never seem to get ahead-er enough to make that happen. It's depressing, I know. All I can say is keep checking back on the figure skating fiction at Skatefic.com and on this blog here. When anything happens, I'll let you know.

Fire! Fire! Fire! Help!

On November 4, 1997, at 4:04 AM in the morning. I heard an intermittent buzzing. I sat up in bed, bleary-eyed, and put my feet on the cold floor. I stood up and took one step. And in between that one step and the next, before my bare foot hit the hardwood floor, I thought, "The house is on fire." I wasn't thinking straight, and I called to my husband and threw open our bedroom door. He says that the first thing he saw as he opened his eyes was my silhouette against the flames.

The home office, right across the hallway from our bedroom door, was on fire. Flames were licking up the wall behind my computer monitor which was already charred. I bolted from the house, screaming for my husband to get the baby (who was two) while I woke my brother, who was living with us at the time and is notoriously hard to wake.

When I got out the door, I realized that my husband had not followed us out. He was going for the main breaker. And without a thought, I ran back into the smoky, burning house, into the teeth of the fire. I scooped up my GG and left, nearly colliding with my husband who was already dragging the hose down the hall to douse the fire.

I went to the neighbor clad in nothing but a t-shirt and panties and hammered on their door for five minutes before they got up. They called the fire department for us. Despite being less than 3 miles away, the fire truck took 20 minutes to arrive. By that time, the fire was long out. Without my husband's firefighting training (courtesy of the US Navy) we would have lost everything: my wedding dress, the hundred year old pictures of our families, every stitch of clothing, everything. Once the fire got into the attic, the house would have been a total loss.

As it was, we were out of our house for weeks. We missed Thanksgiving, living in a hotel. We moved in a scant 4 days before Christmas. And I nearly lost my mind. The damage came to $43,000. Insurance paid, but in fits and starts, wreaking havoc on our budget. Every thing we owned had to be washed, cleaned, restored, or painted. It was the single most stressful event in my whole life--to the point where "stress" seems like such a pathetic understatement, I can't begin to think of a noun that really fits.

For years afterward, I woke smelling smoke. I would have to get up and check the whole house before I could force myself back to sleep. I remember, vividly, how my bedside clock looked at 4:04 AM that morning. I, who can barely remember my daughters' birthdays, remember the exact date. I can see the flames, feel the terror.

I smell smoke in my nightmares.

I have a good friend named Hope who I've known for years. Last night, Hope's sister's house burned to the ground. They lost everything. They are now living with Hope.

At a time like this, when you've been where I have, you want to do something to help. Your heart goes out, but you feel helpless nevertheless. And that's where you come in. One person can't do much, but together, we can do a lot. So here I am, asking you to open your hearts, your closets, and your wallets to help Hope's sister and her children. They have lost everything.

Child One: Boy, age 4, size approx. 5
Child Two: Girl, age 1, size approx. 24 months.

You can send monetary donations via PayPal to icrochet@bellsouth.net
or by mail to:

Hope Wilbanks
ATTN: Donation for Faith
PO Box 100
Palmetto, LA 71358

Please be generous.

For Cathy, Who is Purple-3

ARGH. Damned laptop shut down AGAIN for no reason and I lost my WHOLE blog post. I HATE that. Worse yet, for some stupid reason, FireFox didn't keep the session information for the thirty five windows I had open. Argh and double argh. Let's see, where was I?

Oh yes.

I'm very fond of the poem "When I am old, I shall wear purple/with a red hat that does not become me." It reminds me of my friend Cathy, who a couple years ago decided not to turn 50. Instead, she turned "purple" and she is now "purple-3." Being orange-6 (<grin>, 36, actually, and not phased by the numbers) myself, I kind of understand her refusal to surrender not so much to age and its indignities, but to society's ideas about who and what older women are and should be.

It occurred to me last night when I was reading this article about a 64-year-old grandmother who appeared (tastefully) naked on a billboard for Dove's Real Women advertising campaign. I thought it was great until the end when she says, "age is but a number, and real beauty—at whatever age—comes from feeling young and thinking young." I know our society identifies youth with beauty to the exclusion of beauty after youth, but this quote bothers me. It endorses youth=beauty in the midst of a campaign that SAYS it means exactly the opposite. Are we really beautiful in all our sizes, shapes and ages, or is beauty, fashion, and self-esteem only for the young, the thin, the fair? Dove can say one thing, but even its models seem to think another. And if we all do, who are we really fooling?

So this morning, I was reading Crooks and Liars, and came across this video by Gogol Bordello. The band plays what they call "Gypsy Punk." And it's got the infectious, driving beat you expect from tradition gypsy music. And the lyrics are delightfully silly. The song is "Start Wearing Purple." And though I have not deciphered all the lyrics yet, it seems to be saying, "Don't be shy about looking your age. I love you and I think you are beautiful even if you aren't 20 anymore." How empowering!

And I thought of you, Cathy.

First Freedom First

I don't normally talk about politics here. Okay, sometimes I give you a peek into what I feel strongly about--but only sometimes. Anyway, I saw this video this morning and felt I had to share it. It hits me particularly close to home for many reasons.

Freedom cuts both ways.

Figure Skating Moms' Minivans

This is not a well known fact, but I have a curious soft spot for the "Pimp My Ride" genre of TV shows. My first car was a classic (a 65 For Falcon) and I love the old muscle cars. In fact, DH owned a 1971 Chevelle when we met. It added much to his charm.

As far as Pimp My Ride goes I am most certainly NOT the demographic. My car fetish even goes as far as watching Trick My Truck (on CMT where they use semi's)... at least when there ain't squat on. I don't much like the show where they steal the car and then play practical jokes on the owner while they trick out the vehicle... that's just too cruel for my taste. DH thinks it's funny, must be guy thing.

My favorite Pimp My Ride is when they installed a bunch of TVs in the floor of this chick's suburban and put in a console with a huge make-up case with running water and everything. It was just so outrageous it was cool. I always wanted to submit my minivan and ask them to make it into the ultimate mom-mobile.

But now... come to think of it, I'LL PASS!

Anyway, THIS is absolutely hysterical. French fries! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

It sounds like my car, though I don't have a minivan anymore. When I had one, that's about how it was (but without the bottles). Though I will say, they forgot the permanent marker on the upholstery.

Enjoy!

Figure Skating Worlds Coverage (Not!)

I got a comment the other day which asked if I was going to do play by play coverage of Worlds this week. While I'm gratified that someone was interested enough to ask, I must confess that I have a BAD case of busy this spring. I barely have time to watch skating much less spend hours watching every skater while typing reports.

Presently, I am working hard on the second edition of my Google book. My co-author and I have roughly four weeks to finish and we are already three weeks behind. I am preparing taxes again this year for the AARP TaxAide program two days a week. And we are moving again... by CHOICE. I can't believe that last one! But we are. I'm struggling to clean and pack and sort and get the mortgage crap done and so on.

This past week has been about my third week in a row where I have EIGHT days of work to complete in five days. I'm pretty much worn out. So if you are looking for Worlds coverage this year, my apologies. It's not happening. I just don't have any time and I have less energy. Maybe next year.

On a brighter note. Props to my favorite obscure skater Tomas Werner! I have loved Tomas for several years now--as far back as when he was skating for (was it?) Germany. Werner skated the lights out in his long, landed two BEAUTIFUL quads, and ended up fourth at Worlds after being like 19th last year. Go Tomas! On the other blade, sighs for Evan and tears for Johnny. I haven't watched any of the other coverage, and probably won't. I am falling into bed exhausted at relatively early hours and don't get to watch much TV.

Figure skating is my life, but sometimes work gets in the way.

What kind of programmer are you?

Ah, my survey jones thirsts for useless online "tests!" This one, supposedly based on the Myers-Briggs personality survey tells you what kind of programmer you are (my myers-briggs is SCARY balanced, BTW). Apparently, as a programmer, I'm a:

DLSB

You're a Doer.
You are very quick at getting tasks done. You believe the outcome is the most important part of a task and the faster you can reach that outcome the better. After all, time is money.

You like coding at a Low level.
You're from the old school of programming and believe that you should have an intimate relationship with the computer. You don't mind juggling registers around and spending hours getting a 5% performance increase in an algorithm.

You work best in a Solo situation.
The best way to program is by yourself. There's no communication problems, you know every part of the code allowing you to write the best programs possible.

You are a liBeral programmer.
Programming is a complex task and you should use white space and comments as freely as possible to help simplify the task. We're not writing on paper anymore so we can take up as much room as we need.

If you want to see all the personality types, they're here.

The B I B L E... and other amusements

So, I was wandering the blogosphere and came upon this interesting quiz. I haven't indulged my survey jones in a while so this looked like a good opportunity.

I am Catholic. We RCs are not known for our encyclopedic knowledge of the Bible, but I'm also not your average Catholic. For about 3 years in elementary school, I attended a "Christian" academy run by the Southern Baptists. For the first year it was okay, but by the third year, I was getting told I was going to hell because I was Catholic.

Yeah, that sounds REAL Christian to me, too.

But as a result, I memorized the books of the Bible in 2nd grade (and lots of verses, too) and actually read the book (it has some great stories). Alas, I can no longer rattle off all the books of the old and new testaments. I can recite the 40 most common prepositions (courtesy of Catholic middle school).

Old reprobate that I am, who probably hasn't cracked a Bible since I was 10 (okay, a LITTLE in college where I used to annoy the fundamentalists in Bible study just for cussedness).

So color me amused.

You know the Bible 95%!

 

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

How could I have forgotten to tell you!

So the last time I posted about The Barunian Incident, I was 70 words short of half finished. And then I forgot to update again!

I FINISHED!

On January 24th at 5:40 PM, The Barunian Incident clocked in at 87,543 words.

And since the muse refused to be silent, I wrote 12K words of the sequel Tavilis Rex!

And then, of course, as she often does, the muse went back to Tahiti. I got stuck somewhere in chapter 5 of the new book. I'm not really worried about it. I say this with a nod to Mr. T Wanker, "the passion will return." In the meantime, I have work to do.

I sent the MS to a friend to read. Still waiting to hear what she has to say. She did say that she's in the middle and enjoying the book. So that's good.

I'm not really looking forward to the editing process, if the truth must be told. I joined a critique site that produced good advice during the test I made with the prologue. But it's still going to be a HUGE amount of work to send it through critique because for each chapter iIsend through, I have to crit a chapter of someone else's work. And then I have to read all the commentary and decide what revisions to make.

I did read the book again last week, and it still seems like a pretty good book. Maybe not enough sword fighting and too much love making. I've been keeping track of revisions I want to make. There are about three major ones and ten minor ones. I did at least one revision suggested in the critiques of the prologue. The shuttle launch was too much like the US space shuttle, and it shouldn't have been. That made a lot of sense to me since the book takes place like 5K years in the future. But some other things... dunno.

I'm also not looking forward to the marketing process. I've been trying to write a kick ass query for the book. My query for On the Edge got my foot in a LOT of doors (which were subsequently slammed in my face), but hey! It got me in those doors and even got a "what a fantastic query" from Ethan Ellenberg (who didn't want to read it, not his genre). I also have to do a synopsis... <funk> I hate synops. I hate them with a PASSION (see, Wanker!)! I am not looking forward to rejection after rejection. I got my fill of those with OTE. On the other hand, this isn't a skating book, so it is quite possible that it might actually SELL, which OTE didn't really have a snowball's chance in hell of doing no matter how well written it was.

Anyway, I have gotten past the delightful hours of drafting and now comes the hard work of critique, revision, and polishing, marketing and pitching, and taking rejections in stride... and the not giving up. I am going to try... not to get demoralized with this novel. If it doesn't sell, I'll write another one. Maybe even work on Like Chocolate and Cayenne (a foodie chick-lit that Natalie R Collins is always bugging me to write). I keep trying to convince myself that I SHOULD write it because it would sell... even when my heart isn't in it.

Oh dear.

I've just exposed myself as the consummate NON-professional.

I still want to write what my heart is in. With fiction, I allow myself that luxury. I spend a lot of time writing what I have to. On my own time, I write what I want to. And the truth of the matter is, if I write a foodie chick lit and it sells, The Powers That Be will want me to write another. And I don't want to. The future of foodie chick lit novels stretches out before me like an endless moving walkway at the airport. It's intolerable to go in a direction I don't want, to get on a plane I don't want, to take a trip I don't want... to get to a place that maybe I want to be. Alina Adams wrote 20 category romances before TPTB would let her write a skating novel (it sold like 25K copies too). I'm not sure I can do that.

See, JulieAnn, we don't disagree after all.

Utter nonsense

I have been having a completely awful last-7-days. I was away on business last week in San Fransisco. It rained the whole time and I was in constant pain from my arthritis (which the medical plan won't pay for a medication to control, but will pay for something cheaper which leaves me in constant pain). I did get to see a lot of people I care about, but it is just so much fun when you're sore and tired every moment of every day. Then I come home to disaster after disaster—I'm not even going to go into them—the worst of which was my oldest daughter getting the stomach flu AND appendicitis at the same time. And needless to say, I'm in a FUCKING BAD MOOD.

So, a dear friend who means well sent me the following poem "so you want to be a writer?" Go ahead. Go read it. I'll wait. And it just sent me through the roof. What utter and complete nonsense!

Writing is HARD. Writing IS rewriting. Writing is writing when you don't wanna. Writing is being critiqued. Writing is putting food on the table. Writing is not sexy and not glamorous and not always fun, expressive and a delight. Sometimes it's just damned hard work.

So this is my response:

The Professional Writer Responds to Charles Bukowski

If you can write when it's not flowing,
you're a professional writer.

If you can write when your heart, mouth and gut are dry,
you're a professional writer.

If you write despite how HARD it really is,
you're a professional writer.

If you do it for money,
you're a professional writer.

If you do it so you have a bed to sleep in and a roof over your head and a spouse to share it with,
you're a professional writer.

If you have the guts to sit and rewrite over and over and over,
Celebrate! You're a professional writer!

If you do it despite how hard it is to think about it, if you can write in any style any time,
you're a professional writer.

If you can write even when the roar of inspiration is muted,
you're a professional writer.

If you first read it to anyone and you take their critique with equanimity and incorporate their suggestions,
you're a professional writer.

If you're dull and pretentious enough to make a living instead of being a starving artist,
you're a professional writer.

The poseurs of the world have cried themselves to sleep wanting to be YOU.

Add to it.

Do it.

It's not rockets, madness, murder and suicide.
It's professionalism. Do it.

When the sun does not burn and the neither does the gut,
do it.

If you wait to be "chosen" you will waste your life and your talent and your drive.

Do it.

There is no other way.

There never has been.

More Silly Quiz Results...

Why do I do this?

I have yet to figure this out, peeps. I like taking silly quizzes, but at the same time, the results are sometimes of use and often of no use at all. For example, I recently took this quiz about whether "this guy" is my soulmate—yeah, I'm dripping sarcasm too.

The quiz asked some interesting questions, like "how's your sex life?" Of course, none of the answers really fit so I chose "comfortable." Hey, screaming orgasms are comfortable! No dice for choosing "sometimes blah, sometimes 'wow,' sometimes AWOL," it wasn;t one of the choices. Overall, I'd think my sex life is pretty good. The quiz does NOT approve.

Or it asks me what we talk about after work. And for some reason, talking about what he did and what I did during the day is the wrong thing. I mean, like we're supposed to passionately discuss politics (a bad idea since we are a purple marriage) or art or something. Hey, I want to know what he did! DH tells some pretty funny stories. It's a nice way to connect after a day slaving away at the computer. It's far from a boring recitation.

The other thing that bugs me? Apparently, I'm wrong that I don't depend on DH to be my bestest friend. We're not soulmates because I get emotional support from other women instead of from him. I guess it's not wise, that I figured out a long time ago that you can't grow watermelons from tomato seeds. DH is a GUY and I like him that way. I don't ask him to be a woman and nurture me in the ways the my women friends do (or kick me in the butt like they do either). Okay, sometimes, it's difficult, but he is who he is. We're more buddies than best friends. That's cool.

So anyway, here's the upshot:

Is He Your Soulmate?

Your Results:
He might be your soulmate... here's how to tell
You have a good relationship with your guy, but you don't seem to be connected to him on a deeper level. Maybe he's kind, loving and can offer you financial security. But your romance is lacking that extra spark that can only come from being with someone who truly understands you. But don't throw your relationship away just yet. Your guy could unknowingly be your soulmate, and it may be that you just aren't allowing yourself to fully open up to him. Instead of automatically reciting the events of your day when you get home, talk to him about the subjects you're truly passionate about. Enrich your conversations and make them more meaningful, and then see how he responds. Even if he doesn't share your passions, does he understand why they mean something to you? Does he still encourage you to pursue them? If so, you just might have to dig a little more for a deeper connection. More than anything else, you should know in your heart of hearts if he's really the "one" and worth fighting for. So don't settle for "good" relationship—set your sights high and seek out the passion, intuition and soulful connection that you deserve.

So he might be my soulmate.

Darn! And we've been married for 12.5 happy years.

My baby won second place!!!

Okay, so it's not figure skating, but I had to share this because I am absolutely going CRAZY with joy! Both my big girl GG and my middlest Akey tried out for the talent show this year. They only took 13 children and Akey beat out two older girls singing the same song to make the show. And then she went and won SECOND PLACE in the PK-4th Grade division. I took the following videos and pictures with my cell phone (Quicktime required to view).

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Oh, and I forgot! Last night, right around 5:40 PM, I finished—YES FINISHED, The Barunian Incident. It clocks in at 87K words. I am delighted to be finished, even if it is just the draft. Now, to critique. To editing. To querying! Well, really, to a drawer for about a month so I can approach it with fresh eyes. I already have a list of about 10 things that need fixing.

Figure Skating costume sewers beware

Well, peeps, today is a sad day. I'm a Walmart shopper. You can judge that as you may, but it's been a necessity to get as much bang for the buck as possible. We're not rich people and most of my adult life, we've struggled.

That said, I've been sewing since I was 6. And Walmart has been the primary source of fabric for my family for the last decade or so. So today, when I went into Walmart of length or royal blue ribbon, I was dismayed to find the fabric department GONE. An assistant manager was kind enough to explain to me that "corporate" is changing the way Walmart sells fabric. Instead of having bolts of fabric cut to the desired length, they will have precut lengths.

In other words, one will only be able to buy fabric that is too LONG or too SHORT. Buy too much or too little. F*ck you very much, Walmart.

What IDIOT thought this BRILLIANT plan up?

One who doesn't SEW, I bet.

But, I also bet that if Walmart gets enough complaints from avid sewers, they might just rethink their idiotic "new plan." (Have you noticed the shoe department has been reorganized to make it HARDER to buy shoes?) Apparently the stores are already fielding a lot of vociferous complaints from fabric buyers who ALSO think this is a dumb idea. They are also, BTW, "re-doing" the craft departments nationwide. You can bet that THAT will also be a dumbass redesign. So if you do crafts, be afraid. Be very afraid. Stand up for sewers, because crafters are next.

If you shop at Walmart (and even if you don't). Could you take a moment to send some feedback to Walmart Corporate about this situation? If you sew, or know someone who sews, maybe post this request to your blog (leave a link in the comments) so that your readers might also give Walmart a heads up that they are doing something dumb and we customers DON'T LIKE IT.

Contact Walmart here: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/catalog.gsp?cat=542393.

Click "Email Us." You will have to choose your store and then fill out a short survey about cleanliness etc. Then you click "Send email feedback" (or something like that) on the return page and they will allow you to send a letter.

Please! Take a couple minutes to lend a hand. Costuming is a fair sized part of skating. I learned to sew making my own costumes (helping mom, really). Affordable fabric is crucial for many, many sewers.

On the other hand, my husband will be CHEERING. He hates me buying fabric anyway.